Second

21Mar10

dont like being the latter.the one that comes after.the one who takes in the aftermath.the one who suffers the repercussions.
i am nobody’s booty call.

maybe that’s why they always say ‘keep an open mind’.your past closes your mind.shuts it down to new people.youre jaded.everyone’s just like those from your past.you dont want to relive it.that’s why your past stays your past.
‘see why i forgot?’

maybe you will get over it someday,but you’ll never forget.and then people of the present who try to enter your life realise theyre refused entry.otherwise theyre treated like theyre someone else from your past.
it’s not fair.

i always make the wrong decisions.and then regret them.and then i convince myself that if i decided otherwise,it wouldve been worse.and then i realise.maybe it’s just me.maybe i dont know what im alive.maybe i will just waste my life away and it wouldnt make a difference anyhow.
how do i live my life any other way?

xoxo