we meet again.oh look!it’s 2009. January 13, 2009

haha it’s been so long.havent blogged in so long.i guess it’s no surprise why im not a famous blogger yet haha.ok so anyway,during this hols i went to US for 3 weeks oh wheee.oh my i love USA.shopping’s so gooood.i kinda regret not buying more shoes and jackets.i kept telling myself i already have enough at home but i missed the whole point.shopping in US just means you buy whatever you see even if you already have enough cos you’ll never have enough and it’s so CHEAPPP!bahh.crap.i wonder why i wasnt enlightened then.i want to go back.

in other news,i have overcome my fear of rollercoasters.for now, i have rationalised the entire rollercoaster ride.youre so firmly strapped down youre not gonna die (cause you might fly out).once i rationalised my fears,all i did was to enjoy the wind in my hair and scream cos other people in the same rollercoaster are screaming too.FUN!but i also realise,as soon as i lost my rollercoaster momentum,i wasnt all too excited about going on one anymore.motion sickness is the greatest deterrant.

i know you want some pieces of me.

i love kueh lapis.
xoxo

photos October 28, 2008

alrighty,i promised pictures of india as well since i only collected them on sat afternoon and well need some time to overcome my laziness to process them,im only going to upload it now.so here you go.

 

aight so in case youre wondering why the pictures arent all that fantastic,well i took them using my quad cam and trust me or not,to date im still not used to using it.like i dont really know why things dont turn out how id like them to.ah well.crapp.it’s ok.at least you still have a rough idea of Goa and in the middle, Mumbai and the rest of my resort.seriously,the thing i miss most is the bathrobe at the resort.it was the best thing to study in.oh gosh i love it.

anyway i find myself losing interest in updating my blog anymore hahaha.i dont know why.like randomly i’ll have stuff to say cos im thinking about a lot of weird shit.but too much sane information’s getting into my head nowadays and so i guess there’s not much nonsense left!haha.i think.hopefully at least.oh yes.i went for a manicure yesterday and ive got baby pink nails now.a manicure was therapeutic.i felt awful looking at uneven nails covered by dead nail cuticles and well having it all settled in an hour was definitely a good thing.i like kueh lapis.and i like angie’s the choice sponge cake.i like thai green curry that’s not spicy.i actually really really like the non-spicy nonya one near my house.that one’s the best ive had.ive been having it since i could remember.maybe since k1 or 2.i like korean seaweed.i like green tea frapp and green tea latte.i like blueberry bagels smothered in cream cheese and jam.i hate being fat.

i think losing weight has the worst effect on my mind.if im at a relatively unslim weight after a while if i realise i cannot lose it i accept it as who i am.fat,buff,slobish,disgusting.but then now that ive actually lost some weight,i weigh myself everynight,going crazy everytime i gain 500g checking my fat percentage was water mass.and then now i cut down on all the stuff i love best.i skip meals sometimes when im feeling fat.i feel fat everyday.this is terrible.sometimes i wish i were born skinny and even if i couldnt maybe itd be possible for me to shit out all my fats.when i first put on my braces or went to hospital,i expected to either not be able to eat or lose my appetite.didnt work either way and i ate as per normal.

i am a fat blob of blubber.
xoxo

in my bid to be a famous blogger October 25, 2008

hahah i try to put on more pictures and maybe sometimes slip in a bitchy comment or two.maybe to push it further i might create a pseudo relationship with a hotshot and then blog about it so everybody will know about what i do with my baby.

ok im supposed to be studying econs now to make up for watching 2 movies and having dinner out today.actually it’s kinda cos im gonna be at church the whole day tmr too.it was some really last minute decision really but TREASURES IN HEAVEN YO.ok that’s not quite the point but..as it is i only spend at max 10 quality minutes with God everyday (that meaning qt time) and so if im really serious about having God in my life,God has to come before everything else right.so im gonna have to finish my blue book for econs tonight.i dont really want to have so many distractions in my mind during the message/seminar tomorrow so econs now,econs on sunday,econs on monday?ok monday im not sure again.we’ll see how it goes.oh man i wish i were a computer.i wish i was connected to an external hard drive.maybe i want to be the cable tv box receiving signals from the satellite on moon.ok baseline,i need to ace my exams and it doesnt look like it’s happening now.uh-oh.ahhh my place on stage /: (i actually tried to recreate /: on my face before.someone could actually tell the resemblance.hahahaha)ok yes i need too get back to my econsss.

before i go in thought i might share something about my math tutor.he’s quite a cool guy.not much of a temper.i tried to hold in my laughter/smile today while he was trying to teach me functions and stuff like that.thing is,i havent seen him in a year and cos my math is so not a 7 now i needed to engage his help.after all he helped me get an A1 for amaths in sec4 before.(oh gosh that was sooooooooo long ago.oh yeah prom again!haha.)so i somewhat consider him my math saviour and therefore to call upon him for help is the only sensible and sane thing to do.on wed when i called him to ask for tuition and he said he had a free slot for me i was so excited i was skipping from the dining table to the house phone to call my mum and ask for financial aid: 65 singapore dollars manz.for 100 minutes that’s like about 65 cents per minute i think.SO the point is what happened at tuition today.HE LOST HIS PENCIL AMIDST MY MATH FYS.it was quite funny.

“ok i need my pencil to draw this graph.hmm where is my pencil.”
“hmm not here maybe i put it back into my pencil case.”
“eh no it’s not inside [flips the papers around].”
“oh dear i think i lost my pencil.my pencil’s missing.do you have a pencil to lend me?”
“hmm where can my pencil be?”
[finally flipping my math fys aside]“oh there i found my pencil.”

that all happened in a span of 2 minutes.

47-45?
xoxo

when i grow up. October 24, 2008

well makes quite a lot of sense dont you think.prolly a reasonable answer.but really.maybe it’s not that wise to make such a sacrifice for a friend.it’s sweet to think about it but what if the love doesnt nurture.so the baby’s gonna have parents that love him but prolly not love each other as much.imagine a life like paddy clarke.dont blame me for so much mention of paddy cos i just finished reading that book on sun at about 10pm.but anyway,the point is,as much as a kid wants to be loved by his parents he’d want his parents to love each other as much as they love him.for me,i think id be just as happy if my parents loved each other more than they love me.imagine mathematical terms.my parents love each other 100% so they get 100% each only.but if my dad loves me 75% and my mum loves me 75% as well,i get 150% of love altogether!ok i know love is intangible but yeah trying to make sense of it all,it proves my point of me rather having my parents love each other more (:

oh gosh i think my thoughts are incoherent.im prolly distracted cos my sister’s watching the hills now and basically i think my ear’s causing my brain to concentrate on whatever’s going on the show and omg,my multitasking skill is so bad.i should stop.

goodbyeee!
xoxo

i dont see what’s wrong. October 23, 2008

seriously somehow i dont really see the problem but my mum refused to let me order the take away instead.like ok.the stall’s in an alley along geylang and there are many people and it’s really bright and since i’m on the right side of the car to get off and order the take away,why cant i do it.hmmm.my dad asked me:

“what you you do if someone asked you how much?”
[oh please my fat's not spilling out of my skin like those hookers along the roads.those men prolly think im diseased so they wont ask me]
“i’ll just pretend i didnt hear anything.”
[plus everyone tells me i look fierce when i dont smile and stare so theyll prolly get the message]

eventually i bugged my mum so much she passed me the twenty bucks to go order the food.oh yes.it was raining and my mum’s in the front seat beside my dad so she was effectively on the wrong side of the car.plus she wouldnt really be interested in getting her hair wet.so the job was mine.lo and behold,there was a carpark lot right in front of the stall [must be God-sent] and my dad parked and i got off and ordered.i ordered in chinese yo.bet many of you havent done that in quite a while.so anyway since my dad got a lot right in front of the stall,they could just stare at me the whole time: from me ordering to standing there waiting for my food to paying the lady to collecting my food.and guess what.no one asked me that lousy question.guess i dont look that cheap after all.

i think you dont know,but my popo has a special talent.i only discovered it on monday night when i visited her.imagine this:

 

so basically,if i havent already made known her special talent to you, then well,my grandma can finish an entire can of milk which is about 8 oz. using a straw in one breath.like when i stared at her straw while she was drinking,there was totally no break in the flow of milk.quite impressive dont you think.duh.she’s my grandma.im pretty sure not many people can do that.besides,i dont even think she realises that she’s got this special talent.hahaha.

oh and before i forget,david lai has successfully made me decide to stick to my chinese name instead.from now on,if youre gonna talk to me call me jiaen not amanda please.bring me bad memories by courtesy of david lai.you see,in his attempt to suan bobbie and express his pride for his name after i mentioned something about 2 syllabled names being better to pronouce he said this:

“bobbie jen is 3 syllables.bob-bie-jen.”
“but amanda is 3 syllables too!”
“that’s different.a-man-dah (im sure you can try to imagine.)”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

ok yes.i died.i went mad.i was like:

“oh my gosh.david lai you just made me hate my name.”

that was brilliant.in a paddy clarke brilliant way.scary more like.but ah well,took the stress and boredom off studying i guess.if someone has to die,i guess im the martyr.now i know what’s wrong.

goodnight!
xoxo

if you realise this entry’s exactly the same as the one as ferventfire.wordpress.com, that’s cos jim’s a lazy pangsai. October 19, 2008

hello guys.

in case you never knew,i left for india and im back now.haha.well i guess i havent been blogging here for quite a while and i guess i could leave you with a few thoughts.

well one interesting fact, Goa, India, unlike all other states of India is actually pretty much Christianised.you see it wass a Portugese colony pre-world war 2 (i think) and so there’s quite a lot of portugese influence on the entire state.if you ever decide to visit Goa, you’d think youre in Malacca cos they actually look quite the same!Goa is so laidback sometimes it gets a little frustrating.and why can they afford to be so laid back even though India has one of the highest levels of poverty?well i would say Goans are pretty much spared from having to suffer very much unlike their fellow Indians from say Mumbai or Delhi.basically,Goa’s a tourist destination and it’s key industry is in tourism.apparently tourists from temperate countries flock down to Goa to enjoy their beaches.too bad i was busy studying in the hotel room so i missed the beaches.ah well.so anyway,the Goans go on a strictly-no-more-than-6-hours workday: 1030-1230 and then they break for lunch; lunch’s till 1530 then they work till 1800 and they stop.they are able to work such hours because they know no matter how long they work,even if they miss the business today,they’ll still get the business tomorrow.this is the kind of concept they have and even still within these few hours they’re still rather unproductive because as a local said: “Indians work on rubber time.” what does this mean?well it just means that theyre very flexible with their time.everything’s no rush,everything can be done slowly.and for a Singaporean so used to everything being chop chop fast fast everything so efficiently done,it can get QUITE frustrating.oh haha i think i missed the main point of this entry.so anyway!

i want to thank God for this time i got to spend with my mum.just the both of us.i only went to India to accompany her as she attended a seminar.you know how everyone’s like studying all the time nowadays,most of us study out cos home’s got so many distractions,and then when we’re being productive we tend to study out till quite late,by the time we reach home we say gooodnight to our parents and crash under our sheets.well.think about this,have you been treating your home like a hotel,your parents like the reception counter staff?a hi and a bye,good morning and goodnight,are sometimes the only 4 words you say to them.i actually think parents are worth so much more that just those 4 words.same way works with God.we’re so busy with everything else when we do our quiet time we only thank God for the words that he has spoken to us through the quiet time material message (whether is actually spoke to us or not is a completely different matter) and then thank Him for a good day, then we say amen already.isn’t that a tad too short!i like telling God about everything that has happened throughout the day (even though He already knew before i did) and well id commit everyone in my family to Him as well.i understand that everyone has different styles of doing their own quiet time but what im trying to say is that i urge all of you to speak to God more.quiet time is a good place to start.subsequently maybe throughout the day you could pop a few comments to God,speak to him throughout the day,thank Him for the little surprises He sprung up for you before you forget and stuff like that.main message: talk to God more.

and i’d also like to thank God for allowing me to be born in Singapore.seriously if youre complaining about the 7% GST here,oh please,get on with life already!in India,you pay 12.5% to the VAT anf 12.37% service charge on top of that.so yes see how lucky you are!and also i dont think you see slums in Singapore except for a couple of people sleeeping on cardboards under the highways.well,slums are so prevalent in Mumbai that one community actually makes up the size of the CBD area already.imagine quite a few of them around.please also remember that the Singapore airport is so good you cant quite find a better one in Asia.in Goa,they dont even have a domestic airport for tourists.the tourists enter and depart from the army airport so you can imagine soldiers everywhere.most importantly,THERE ARE NO SHOPS IN THE AIRPORT!this applies to both Goa’s airport and the Chattrapathi Shivaji International Airport (Mumbai).ah we’re such lucky people and i feel blessed enough to be a Singaporean cos my airport’s got shops and Starbucks which means it’s got my GREEN TEA LATTE! (: oh yes before i forget,kudos to SIA pilots.the landings are so well done that if i were asleep during the descend i wouldnt even know that we had landed until i look out the window or hear the announcement.see guys,praise the Lord for you are Singaporean!

i guess im so grateful cos now ive seen worse.as much as i appreciate Singapore so much more,id still say the stay at Park Hyatt Goa has made my experience in Goa so enjoyable especially the bathrobes.they’re so comfortable to be in when im studying it makes me so much more productive.i have thus been inspired to get a bathrobe myself.haha.aight guys,i think this entry’s long enough.alrighty then,i’ll leave all you slackers and muggers for now.either make your holidays productive and interesting or study hard all you bookworms and let us do well for His glory!

In Christ’s love,
Amanda

out that door. September 24, 2008

i think i was supposed to take one step at a time,really tiny baby steps,but i guess i skipped steps and here i am!hmmm right you dont understand but hey who really cares whether you do or not cos what youre reading about is what im thinking so seriously all you need to understand is that well this is what im thinking hahaha.ahhh crap.im broke and i so need so much more money to spend.well ok last night i went shopping with my mum.basically if you dont already know,yesterday was grandmas/mum day.what does that mean?i hung out with both my grandmas and my mum yesterday so that sums it all up.hanging out with my paternal grandma was not exactly fun but rather i felt this great sense of achievement hanging out with her.like i was a grown up already.you see,i never really had to take care of anyone all my life except my siblings in some sense.like when i was six and my sister was five,when we were in the playroom of this fastfood joint in malaysia called maryland (or whatever if might be.mary’s shop if you like) this person/kid was so terrible.she was such a leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettle bitch i tell you.she threw a ball at my sister.i was so pissed.i went up to her and asked her why she  did that and all that person of such little vocabulary capacity could say was for fun.me being me prolly couldnt stand it so i prolly told her she could have a fun throwing balls at someone else or doing something else but seriously.leave my sister alone or else YOU WATCH OUT.that’s somewhat like what i said but i remember YOU WATCH OUT really clearly.i definitely recall saying that.call me a gangster call me nothing better than that bitch i dont care.i know  my sister is at risk of getting hurt and i’ll go all out to make sure she doesnt.remember that.

so anyway yes about my grandma.i had to take care of her for the first time in my life!i accompanied her to the hospital for her blood test and xray then to the clinic for an analysis of those results and then bring her back home safely.at home i had to make sure she knew when to take her medicine and that she actually did so.what a responsibility.i am so self centred maybe i never really to care for someone that much in my whole life but i did and from now on i’ll have to.maybe cos im so self centred that’s why i could never put myself in another person’s shoes to really wonder how they feel.maybe that’s why i couldnt let go and maybe that’s why i finally can now.HMMM hahah all the links.

shopping’s so fun.i bought a new dress,high-waist pencil skirt,shorts.today i bought 6 bead like thingys.very cool!i think at least.i still need to shop some more and i think i will.i think i need to look for my prom dress quick.i kinda think i saw something i liked today but then again i need to consider whether i’ll ever ever in my whole entire life would ever wear it again.seriously i dont know cos i havent worn my sec4 prom dress since well.prom hahaha.i would need to get it altered anyway cos it’s so broaaaaaaaad oh oh ive definitely lost about 3-4kg since my secondary school days.boy was i buff!i still am but less now.oh  crap so maybe that’s why i lost weight.not cos i got less fat.oh geeee this is terrible.

ok i’m sleepy now.my eyes are closing.goodnight.

shopping again tomorrow  and i think i quite like doing it alone.loner (:

texts keep coming in. September 23, 2008

this is really weird and im really sorry but i dont think i belong here. like oh gosh.haha i dont think i belong to singapore.someone please watch the  hills and yeah i think i should so move to LA  now. 1800-jet-to-la please!

ah well i’m flying commercial there end of the year anyway.no rush?dont think so!i need to goooo.move out of this wretched land.please do not misunderstand.me wanting to move to LA now doesnt mean i hate where i am now.i LOOOOOVE Singapore and i sing the national anthem everyday, recite the national pledge in 4 different languages at least once every week and really Singapore’s so safe you cant ask for a safer land. maybe that’s why everyone else here is so safe. like people dont dare to speak up when they are called to but in small talk, like whoa! everything they voice every single opinion they have. come  on people.you need to speak up!oh geee.what’s the point of complaining to your useless friends who cant change the world for nuts (well unless your friends can..but yeah.ok moving on) so yes please speak to the correct people. you dont tell your  teacher that the toilet bowl in the school toilet wont flush. you tell the custodian dont you! (yeah you dont tell your teacher right.do you?) queer queer. i dont mean to generalise all Singaporeans cos i mean there are people who head up to the Speakers’ corner to voice their opinions and alas! some get sent to the gulags but really, who knows!

i kinda think ive veered off topic for a bit cos people speaking up is so not why i want to head to LA.actually i dont know why either  except that the customs of the United  States of America have been calling out my name ever so endearingly.the factory outlets whispering in my ears 24/7, speaking of  which i need a new dress!thank goodness my mum said yes to shopping later wheeee (: best day in a while.hmmm best night of the day?hahahaha.ah well.i love post prelims.but i only get to enjoy it for a week,get back my  results and im back to hitting the books again.ooh think about this.hitting on your textbooks so then you’ll end up falling on them or oh wait you hit on someone (or something cos it’s your textbooks we’re talking about but then again the textbooks are being personified now.hmmm.) cos you have already fallen for them.ahh makes  sense but..forget it.oh yeah nurul has this favourite pick up like she talks (brags) about real often.

“Excuse  me, do you happen to have a band-aid/plaster?”

“[response] yes/no.”

“well cos i just fell for you.”

ah hahaha.seriously someone try that on me please and dont tell me you got it from this blog entry.i promise not to laugh in your face but i’ll prolly tell  everyone else about whatever you just did then laugh about it with them.if you happen to be in the crowd that im laughing with there and then, well im sorry i really didnt mean to laugh!oh geeeee im such a mean person.maybe i should stop laughing.you think?but laughter’s so cool.maybe not mine.hmmm.

oh yes have i ever made any mentions of how everytime i see a guy the first thing about him that i notice is his smile.that’s what makes anyone hot at all.like you dont need to have dimples or have a wrinkle-less smile cos sometimes smile-wrinkles can be real cute but yeah a nice smile’s really really important. and then when you smile i’ll check out your jawline. guys with a nice defined jawline are hot too.it’s like a complementary good to that smile hanging off your lips.maybe throw in a nice pout too.oh yes and please have 2 ears 2 eyes 1 nose 2 eyebrows as well cos you know how in everything you kinda neeed to seek a balance.somethings are more important than others but that does not make some others not important at all.real important.learn it well chaps!

i think i’m just trying to occupy myself with all these random thoughts right now cos im at home.such things  always happen when im at home not out in all the hustle and bustle of this world.maybe you think my life’s empty.talk to me about it at 3am and i’ll most prolly concur.but meanwhile if hustle and bustle means hanging out with my friends and having PG fun wel then i wouldnt consider my life empty. but really if i dont do my quiet time at night as well after all that fun, i would consider my life  empty.can you imagine a life not considering how there’s this God out there who sent his Son down to die for you,your sins,your everything.youre prolly like yeah yeah ‘youre  gonna say God loves you and you should love Him back too’ well yeah that’s true but God’s so wonderful He never forces anything down your throat.He  enjoys it when i show how i appreciate Him but even at times when im  in doubt feeeling about whether i love Him back enough or not He  doesnt blame me so thank you Lord (:

this is reallly like my parents i think.like how during the june hols i stayed at home to study for my common tests while the rest of my family headed up to  Malacca for church camp.seriously i feel so ashamed to say this at all but i soooooooooooo did not miss them.in fact i had so much fun without them at home.for the first time in my whole entire life i had someone stay over at my house for the night.celesta crashed my place that night and we were like chatting and eating a man(water)go.haha it was blannd.ok not sweet enough but ah welll it’s ok.so anyway my point is, i told my parents that i didnt miss them at all and somehow i wasnt feeling remorseful at all even though i knew i was suppose to feel bad about it and stuff like that.but you see my parents havent stopped loving me even though it seemms like i dont love them back enough at all.like look!my mum’s bringing me out shopping tonight.my mum reallly knows how to love me i tell you.she doesnt just pay for my shopping but she GOES shopping with me.there’s a difference yo.so I LOVE YOU MUM!my dad’s this person who’s so bad at expressing himself you get pissed with him so much even though he thought he was trying to praise you!haha ok so it doesnt happen all the time but it happens!bu yeah so like i really appreciate it when he slips me a one-liner comment before i get off the car at the roundabout in school at 645am every morning.thanks  dad.LOVE YOU TOO (:

ah so much love in the world,about time i ended this post.it is really rather long.my mind speaks a lot doesnt it.haha wow im amazed.i havent blogged in so long and no one knows that i still blog at all and well we’ll see if this post gets discovered!

hello!im meeting you tomorrow (:

i return July 23, 2008

to a life of studying that im not used to yet.this is utterly annoying because i know absolutely no way of making myself integrate fast enough.not fun.i cant even read a few essays without the urge to nap.sometimes i just sleep and never wake up till it’s time for school again.i seriously think i’ll never survive in the world out there.oh man.i need a good degree that will enable me to do any job i want.hmm what degree!ahhh ok nevermind i lazy to think now.ah well!you see this is what happens to me everyday.i set my heart down wanting to do some work and some thinking but i always end up giving up before i start.

i dont know i dont know i dont know.there must be something wrong with me.escapism or something that like i think.i use sleep as a means of escape.but from what really i dont know either.

LEAR LEAR!

June 14, 2008

and then you replied.